To understand people - easily. Very, very easy.
All information about how this particular person will do to you in the future, always on the surface and is available just at the click of your fingers.
Let's start with a simple. If your girl is lying girlfriends, parents and superiors - what is the likelihood that you as a happy exception, it will not lie?
If the customer is strongly dissatisfied previous five designers - what is the probability that it is your job to him suddenly like?
If buddy inspired gossip with you about all the friends in common - what is the likelihood that it will be for you to be silent, like a fish?
To all three questions one answer: almost zero. Exceptions I have not seen.
All cases that seemed exceptions to check just turned more complex applications of the same laws.
It's very flattering and nice - to assume that you all of a such a lovely and you have this man everything will be completely different.
That girl is constantly lying, because nobody knows - but you somehow are able to understand it and it is so you will not lie; the previous five designers were just Krivorukov idiots, but what do you say a professional and will be able to meet the high demands of the customer; that gossip so frank with you, because you are fucking good relationship with the other and it will behave quite differently.
This is a nice thought. But wrong.
You can be neepicheski fine, it may have no effect.
Because it's not you.
NEVER deal to you, as it is sad.
It's just that everyone has their established patterns of behavior, and it implements these patterns with all those who turned up under the arm.
Including you. And in order to accurately predict exactly how people will deal with you in the future, you just have to be aware of these patterns.
And they are very easy to learn, they are manifested in similar situations in the present and the past. You the man friend?
Well - What is his relationship with his friends for the last five years?
You give him a teacher? What ended his contact with previous teachers?
And so on and so forth. And one single situation can a man say nothing; but at least two repeating the same pattern of the situation say about it all. Look for repetition.
What happened twice will happen a third time.
Information about how people deal with you in the future, always on the surface. And always be available - for those who know what to look for.
In the end, it boils down to one simple rule: people do not change. Never. What happened in the past, the same will be in the future.
Well, with the simple part ended, now go to the complex.
Firstly - it's all in the diagram looks simple and straightforward.
But the scheme is needed to illustrate the basic principle, but in real life patterns of behavior are sometimes complex and branched.
For example, if a person with all the friends quarrel in the second year of communication - a simple, straightforward pattern.
And if a half quarrels and a half - no?
Here is more interesting. There are already takes some time to figure out what is common among those with whom he had quarreled, and that - in those who do not.
And so on. In fact, to begin to predict human behavior in general, I have about two months of communication; the fact to say "yes, I know it really well" - more than six months.
Second. Everyone has their own pattern, yes, fine. And what happens when there are two mutually exclusive pattern?
In fact, this happens very rarely, people subconsciously pick up his friends those who can realize any your pattern.
Takes two to tango. Always.
If the interlocutor is nothing what could be one or the other to hang your pattern - communication itself softly bent.
I have seen cases when faced forehead-to-forehead two mutually exclusive pattern; it sounds crazy, and at the same time very logical, but in this case both implemented.
Participants talked about the situation, then it is very different to match that on the facts, but in the opposite sense.
Well, in the third. As to change if people really are. And a little more faith in people.
Does the - no. Over thirty years of his life among the people I have not met a single case. I repeat: none.
Does not change anyone, even those who consider self-improvement as their primary business in the world. People are relatively easy to change the areas in which execute their script; much less willing, it is also sometimes change - methods of implementation scenarios.
But neither the script nor the purpose of the people do not change practically never.
As a result of shock or a long purposeful work can be changed by one or two patterns of behavior; resulting infernal work can be changed all or at least a majority of the patterns.
But the basic life scenario remains intact. Wherever I spoke with a person long enough to monitor these processes, it was so and not otherwise.
And the last. On faith in people.
Believe in a "so what this man behaved with all the rest as the last bastard, I will still believe that he will lead me in a different way," does not work.
It never worked. The only kind of faith in the people that I know - is to keep your eyes open. And if a person suddenly goes beyond the borders of their pattern, and begins to behave like something else - do not have to drive it back.
It is not necessary to act in the style of "I also know that you're so-and-so, as well, immediately go back to your place! Fits my idea of thee."
He should just shut up and watch carefully.
And if he did do something significantly wrong, as before, to amend their own ideas about this man.